I looked through my high school blogs, and turns out I used to be good at this blogging thing. Now I'm better at keeping my mouth shut. I also found this, the results of the career aptitude test I took the semester before I graduated:

Book Editor
Dramaturg
Marketing and Sales Development Coordinator
Feng Shui Consultant
Freelance Writer
Website Designer
Sportswriter
Museum Curator
Film Critic
Film Editor
Editorial Cartoonist
Casting Director
Media Analyst
Criminologist
Architectural Color Designer
Chief Knowledge Officer
Information Broker
Musicologist
Creative Director
TV Host

That's in decreasing aptitude order. Feng Shui consultant is my #4 career match. Seriously. And I love how different this list is from what I'm doing now. I mean, the editing stuff's on there, but I hate my editing classes. What on there indicates that I'd wind up as a physiology major? Maybe that's why this semester seems so hard. I should be in some more dramatic, specialized career. Although, if you'd notice, many of the careers on my list are the type that you really can only get if you're immensely, immensely talented. How many people actually get to be TV hosts? Or dramaturgs? Or even editorial cartoonists?

But anyway, I do love physiology. Even though I get the feeling in certain classes that everyone else is in on something that I'm somehow missing. Like there's some secret that they all share and I got left out of it. It's this vague, nebulous sort of lingering paranoia that I get. It's disconcerting.

But my OChem teacher recited "O Captain, My Captain" in class Wednesday, and I totally was in on that while the rest of the class largely wasn't. I memorized that poem in 8th or 9th grade, and I knew where Dr Peterson messed up. It's amazing how poetry makes things so much better, isn't it? A little Prufrock, for instance, goes a long way.

Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

I used to recite Prufrock every time I went through the New Gate in Jerusalem. That's how Breanne and I first bonded. I put a line from that poem in a letter to her a few weeks ago (she's in the MTC now), and she said it was exactly what she needed to hear. Poetry is good medicine.

I'm not sure what exactly made me qualified to TA a physics class, but I think I might try too hard. I am so behind in grading, and my professor keeps coming up with extra stuff for me to do. I have enough hours, really. And I have midterms, too.

Right now my classes are a lot harder than I want them to be. I don't want them to be easy, but I think my professors go out of the way to make them more difficult than necessary. I hate pop reading quizzes. I'll do the reading before the test, but I don't necessarily have time to get it done before class. I keep failing those quizzes, especially in tissue biology. That class is insane.

Anyway, I feel like I fail at life right now. I'm always busy, and I keep getting farther behind in everything. I have some intense midterms coming up next week in my hardest classes, and I'm not prepared. Or even starting to be prepared. And I'm supposed to help grade the exam for the class I TA. (And by help, I mean I get to do all the grading that isn't done by computer. Never mind that I haven't finished grading their last assignment yet, either. And by not finished I mean haven't started. Six hundred and seven students is a lot of grading.)

In other news, I spent almost $100 on dentist visits this week. And by me, I mean Mom and Dad, because they're going to read this and they're reimbursing me. My mouth is much better now, but it's really a ridiculous story and I won't go into detail.

I set up a friend of mine with my roommate for tonight. I'm kind of nervous about that, but as long as neither of them hate me afterward it should be all right.

I'm still contemplating the whole serving a mission thing, but I haven't really felt all that good about it. I'm starting to think about possibly taking the MCAT next spring or summer. Does anyone have anything to say about that?

As far as solicitations for opinionage go, I have one other question:
I've been in correspondence with a friend of mine in the MTC, and I promised her a letter detailing my engagement story. I'm not feeling particularly romantic or creative right now, though, so does anyone have any fun ideas for that letter?